Self Debate

So, I need a race. I need to register, make the commitment to run and create a plan. Work is getting BUSY and I need something to help bring me some sanity. After the Cleveland Marathon I took a week off running/exercising period. Now, I’ve been running and going to the gym, but nothing longer than 3 miles.

I will say it has been nice to enjoy seeing my friends and not have such a strict schedule...but now work is filling that free time more and more...so I need a plan to create some balance.

I am considering the half marathon in Parkersburg WV. It will be a good excuse to get outta town for my 30^th birthday. Damn, 30. You know, I don’t feel 30…I thought 30 would feel old. But, I don’t feel old at all.

I would say I’m just a little more mature, which is a good thing. I handle things better than I used to -- if I do say so myself -- stress, friendships and family. I guess…in a lot of ways those things can at times be intertwined.

Oh, and we did reach the Joliba Trust Goal! I received a few late contributions that put us over the top. So thank you!

Tune back in later…I promise to write more.

If you don’t like the weather in Cleveland, wait 5 minutes.

That is a saying in Cleveland and on May 18^th – it was so true. When Micah and I started out in the morning at 7 am, it was pouring down rain. But, I was optimistic that the Cleveland saying, “If you don’t like the weather in Cleveland, wait 5 minutes,” would ring true and I wore my sunglasses in spite of the rain.

Even with the miserable weather, friends and family came out to cheer on Micah and me. It was fantastic! But, the sad news of the day was that my parents and sister only made it to one mile marker before getting caught up in a fender bender! Thankfully, everyone is okay.

The Cleveland Marathon takes you from downtown Cleveland across the shoreway to Lakewood. It is pretty amazing running across the bridges in Cleveland. Too bad it was raining in the morning and the view across the lake wasn’t that clear. Nonetheless, the beginning of the race is very exciting! You feel great and there is an amazing energy throughout the participants and the crowd. Plus, you have the bonus of having the half marathoners with you – so there are a lot more people.

By time we got into Lakewood, Micah and I had our eyes open for our friends and family. As we rounded the bend onto W. 117^th, we saw them jumping and shouting in the rain. It was fabulous. Shortly there after, Micah and I saw this family that seemed to follow our pace throughout the race. There were 3 kids, a mom and a grandpa – and they were awesome. I saw them about every five miles and they had such great energy and were always giving people high fives as they ran by. I’ll tell you at mile 21 – their high fives helped me get up a wicked hill while I was running into the wind off of Lake Erie.

I must admit, that some of the euphoria of the race can wear off by time you reach mile 13. The half marathoners are heading towards the finish line and you are wondering to yourself...“um…why didn’t I just do the half? I still have 13.2 more miles to go!” The other issue at mile 13 is that the crowd REALLY starts to thin out. There are a ton of people cheering for the first half and it dwindles at the second half. So for those marathon spectators reading out there – trust me – your marathoners will love to see you later in the race. It is when they’ll need you most.

The second half of the marathon goes through midtown and then over to MLK Blvd, which takes you through one of my favorite parts of Cleveland – the ethnic gardens. We were lucky and the sun came out, but it didn’t get too hot in the second half. Heck, it was even starting to rain again as I finished mile 26.

At mile 15, it was great to see some friendly faces from back in Youngstown…the Haus family came out in full force and was cheering me on – and it was so great to see them there. At mile 16, there was this guy who was struggling…and I gave him an extra Gu that I had…I hope that it gave him the energy needed to keep moving on.

At Mile 18, I saw Rachel and Marilyn again. Plus, I got to see my friend Susan, who came with her baby Cole. It was fantastic that they were able to make it out.

My pace was great…until mile 20. Damn, the wind off the lake hit me and I went from running perfectly on pace to having my time go up by 1 to 2 minutes per mile. What a bummer…and it was so rough to have the view of downtown Cleveland in front of you, but feel so far away. During this time, I really concentrated on the Joliba Trust. I thought about their work and what hopefully they’d be able to do with the donations we’ve all raised. This helped to push me through to the end.

Then, while nearing the home stretch, I saw my friends Jed and Sarah – cheering me on. How Sarah had the energy…I don’t know considering she had already finished the race!

Crossing the finish line was great. I was happy at taking nearly 20 minutes off my old time. Even if I didn’t reach my goal of a 4 hr and 30 minute marathon – I guess that gives me a goal for next time!

I am also happy to say that we came close to reaching the goal for the Joliba Trust – we raised nearly $2,000. We feel short of the $2,000 goal by just $83. So, if you haven’t given yet – please do so – you can make the difference!

I also want to give a special Congrats to Micah and Rachel – not only did Micah have a great first marathon – he also got married a week later!

So, that is it for now…just resting, walking and hitting the elliptical at the gym. I plan on running two half marathons this summer. I’ll keep you all posted!

WHOA! 5 Days to go!

At 4:30 pm today….

I don’t know where to start…so I’ll give you my final fundraising pitch. We’ve raised $1,100 so far – which is awesome! But, we are still $900 short of the $2,000 goal. I know you all should have received your tax refunds AND now you should be getting your nice stimulus check. Instead of spending that money on that flatscreen TV you’ve been wanting – how about giving it to a good cause – AND a cause that won’t help stimulate the George Bush Economy!? And for those of you who haven’t given yet – and you know who you are – I will do call time. Oh yeah, you’ll be getting a call and I’ll be hitting you up for a donation.

As for the running update…I did my long run on Saturday evening this past week, which wasn’t that long – only 8 miles. It was great to get outside, since I was inside all day at a staff training for work that went pretty well. The weather was beautiful. I could not have asked for a more perfect night – other than the gnats. Lots of gnats – I am pretty sure I got some extra protein while running;). The allergies were still bothering me – but I just concentrated at running at my marathon pace, so I wouldn’t be pushing it too hard. I was still running about 30 seconds a mile too fast – but significantly slower from my past 8 milers.

I am actually excited that it is supposed to rain like all week in Cleveland. I am hoping it will wash more of the pollen away and my allergies will be less severe. I am feeling pretty good right now and I’m looking forward to my short 3 mile run tonight – AND seeing Ariel…

At 9 pm today….

I am back! Anyways sorry for the switch on my train of thought…I was at the DC airport when I was writing the three paragraphs above and had to board my flight.

It was great to get into Columbus, get to the office, pick up Ariel and go home and run. It was a really weird feeling being super elated to be back. I can truthfully say that is the first time that has ever happened. Usually, I am pretty melancholy when I get back from DC. Most of you know that the transition from DC to Columbus has been difficult for me. It has been harder to make friends – and ironically enough – more of them are involved in politics than my friends in DC.

I am not putting all the burden on Columbus – because that would be the easy thing to do – a lot of it is because of how much I chose/choose to work and the odd fact that I’ve become more of an introvert as I’ve become older . (or I could just be reverting back to my true self…I was very much an introvert as a child) I lost touch with many people in 06, since I was working like an insane woman. Case and point … after the 06 election, I finally called my friend, Susan to find out that she was 6 months pregnant! Yes, I was an asshole. I should have made time to call.

I also think the visit to DC jogged my thought process on what am I going to do after this election. Stay in Ohio, move back to DC, move somewhere else – like out West? I’ve given myself an August deadline to figure out what I want to do. Why August? I don’t know…maybe because that is the last month before election stuff becomes really crazy, maybe because I’m turning 30, or it is just completely arbitrary. August could come and go without me making a decision.

I know that if I move back to DC, my life would not go back to how it was before I left. People are in different points in their lives now. I would no longer have the party pad where everyone would hang out before heading out in Adams Morgan or U Street. Nor do I have a strong desire to go out and party it up in AdMo. My alcohol tolerance is pathetically low and I tend to be in bed by 10 pm. I never quite regained my party-all-night stamina after my lung surgery. If I stayed here…would I still work for America Votes? Would I do something else? What about Chicago? Montana? Northern California?

Is this one of those decisions when I have to make a list?

When I moved back to Ohio in 04 – it was a gut decision. I had to move back – it was for my country, my state, my family. I had to work for change. The consequences of that decision didn’t matter to me – a significant paycut, leaving my friends and network in DC, moving to a city where I knew practically no one. And, those consequences have been frequent reminders of the fact that my personal – NOT professional – transition to Ohio has been very difficult.

My current decision is different, less idealistic and a little selfish.

My whole thought process on this blog is weird…too much thinking about too much stuff. I should be writing about the marathon this weekend, which I am really excited about – but scared at the same time. I have been pretty consumed with it this week. I freak out about the taper – since I worry about my stamina, etc. I am more worried about it this time since I had to cut my last long run in half because of my allergies.

Well, I should cut this off. I’ve been writing this at Northstar – the café across from my house where I eat WAY TOO OFTEN! I need to get home and unpack and mentally prepare myself for tomorrow – and yes, that usually entails making a list.

That Just Blows

This past Sunday I was planning to run half of the Flying Pig Marathon with my friend, Lauren. It was a perfect day for a race. It was cool in the early morning -- it was just in the 40s and the sun was shining. I drove to downtown Cincinnati right at 6:30 am to meet my friend’s parents and her girlfriend at mile 5. We all kept looking for Lauren but didn’t see her. We then all piled in the car to drive to mile 12 where I was planning on jumping in the race with Lauren. While we were driving to mile 12, we received a call from Lauren. She fell at mile 4 and that is why we didn’t see her. We spent the next hour and a half trying to get to first aid to collect Lauren.

I felt so bad for her – to train for that long and to have something like that happen just sucks. And, of course you tell a lot of people that you are running the marathon, and when you head back into work the next day – people are going to ask you how it went – so you have to relive it.

There are no marathons or even half-marathons in the tristate area this weekend – which is just kind of crazy. Lauren cannot run Cleveland, since she is going to France for a wedding. But, she’s already come up with a new goal – running a half marathon while running 9 minute miles, which is fantastic and ironic.

While running 12 miles on Sunday night, I had a great run – I ran 12 miles in 1 hour and 54 minutes. I was pumped by that time! So, I came up with my own goal to run a half marathon in less than two hours!

Lauren and my goal are very similar – so we are considering running the half together. I’ll keep you posted on when this may happen!

On the Juice

Just five miles tonight, the first time I’ve run since Sunday. I took it easy and had my favorite running partner with me – sorry Micah. We had plenty of stops to pee, to sniff things out and to of course – chase squirrels.

And I have good news – I’m not sick – I just have CRAZY allergies.

And pardon me while I rant about my health insurance company. So, I’ve had allergies since I was a kid – like 9 years old, which really sucked while growing up on a farm – but it did get me out of picking tomatoes. Yes, I am allergic to tomato plants – my hands break out in blisters – the same thing with cats if I pet them and don’t wash my hands right afterwards.

I used to get allergy shots as a kid and they really helped. But, as an adult, I really don’t have the time to take 3 hours out of my day once a week to go get a shot. I’ve relied on medication to help control my allergies – which mostly works well. BUT, now that my work has switched health care companies – to United Health Care – they won’t cover my allergy medicine – Allegra D. They say, take something over the counter, like Claritin D, but that doesn’t work for me.

I had United Health Care when I worked in DC for Democracy Data & Communications. I went through the same thing, but they finally did relent and cover my Allegra D. About 6 weeks ago, I finally went back into my doctor to deal with my chronic cough and runny nose and she sad it was allergies and tried to prescribe me the Allegra D – but my insurance company again refused to cover it. So, without a choice I tried a different over-the-counter medication, which has yet to work any wonders.

Last week, when I was at my parents I started sneezing, nasal drip and a cough. I thought for sure I was getting sick again. I mean – I was taking two different allergy medications – couldn’t be allergies.

Finally, yesterday I relented and went to the doctors because how I’ve been feeling has made it impossible to run and barely possible for me to even go to work. My co-workers thought I had the “plague” again. My doctor said I was not sick – it was allergies. I explained to him that I was running in the Cincinnati Marathon this weekend and needed to feel better. (For those of you who don’t know, I’m running half of the Flying Pig Marathon with my friend, Lauren). And he was great about it and gave me a steroid shot (aka the juice as I’m calling it) and I feel like a new woman today. Plus, he gave me some more Allegra D samples…which should last me 5 days.

This whole process if very frustrating…I’m wondering how much it cost my insurance company for me to go to the doctor, get the shot, etc. They could have avoided this – and the initial doctor’s appointment if they just would cover my damn Allegra D.

Now, I know I’m lucky that I even have insurance. But, the last time I checked – insurance companies aren’t doctors and they shouldn’t be making decisions that have an ill affect on my health – but they are. All for some crazy bottom line that someone believes is there by telling people to buy their allergy medication over-the-counter. Medications react differently with different people. Anyone with a little common sense can tell you that. Okay – enough of my rant. I’ll be back on the phone tomorrow with United Health Care trying to get coverage for my Allegra D.

And if not, I'll be asking folks for a Canadian hook up.

10 Instead of 20

I am fighting a head cold – it sucks. I was trying to convince myself that it is just allergies – but I don’t think so. Allergies are probably contributing to how I am feeling, but I definitely have a head cold. That is okay – as long as it doesn’t go to my lungs. I was supposed to do 20 miles today, but when I got up at 6 am – I knew that wasn’t possible. So I called Micah and told him he was on his own for his 20 mile run. I felt bad, but I cannot mess around with my health.

After talking to a few people about my cold and long distance runs, I decided that I’d do 10 miles this evening. I was able to run the whole time – and was pretty happy with that fact. On Friday, I ran 8 miles near my parents’ house and it was a big struggle – that was when I was coming down with the cold. I ran 10 miles tonight in less time it took me to run 8 miles on Friday.

Today was a BEAUTIFUL day in Columbus – the leaves are finally out, everything is in bloom and there was no humidity. Other than all the allergens in the air – it was perfect running weather.

I think that everything in the past week was just wearing on me and ran down my system, but, better now than right before the Marathon. I just need to make sure I push myself on the long runs moving forward – even though they will be shorter.

Next weekend, I am running half of the Cincinnati Marathon with my friend Lauren. She ran half of the Columbus Marathon with me last year – so time for me to repay the favor. I may run a little more than just half – depending on how I am feeling to make up for not running 20 miles today.

As for an update on Joliba Trust – I am pretty sure we are close to raising $1,000 from the tracking I’ve received from Caroline and the updates from you all about what you’ve given. I want to thank you all for your generosity. With 3 weeks to go – we need to raise $1,000. So, for those of you who haven’t given – and you know who you are – be expecting me to personally hit you up:)

One Hard 18-Miler

Well, last weekend’s 18 miler seemed like a sweet day dream compared to this weekend’s run – mentally and physically I was not ready for the run.

On Friday afternoon, I got the unfortunate call from my Mom telling me that my Grandmother wasn’t doing well. I wasn’t expecting this call from my Mom – I was expecting her to call to thank me for the gift I sent her for her birthday. But, my Mom didn’t even remember it was her birthday because her mother was dying.

I was in Cleveland, so I quickly got in my car to drive back to Columbus to arrange for someone to cover me for my Saturday work obligations. (A big thanks to Lauren for covering for me!) When I got to Columbus, I squared a few things away at the office and at home and got back in the car to drive another 3 hours to Youngstown. I went straight to the nursing home – to see the ghost that was left of my Grandmother. I saw her not that long ago and each time I’ve visited her over the past two years – I’ve had to deal with the shock of how much she changed since the last time I saw her.

I was always been close to my Grandma Jeanne. Some of my fondest memories from childhood were going over to her apartment in Canfield to spend the weekend – she lived close to a Dairy Queen – which is still one of my weaknesses! My Grandma was the “cool” Grandma. She was hip, classy and was an avid athlete into her 70s – she played golf and bowled. She always went to Florida with my mother and me to visit my Aunt Pat and her family. She had great taste in movies from classics to current movies – heck, this woman gave me Silence of the Lambs!

One of the things my mother’s family is NOT good at is sharing family history – that could be because their lives growing up were hard. I do remember the countless times when my mother would tell me that she walked 3 miles every morning to go to school – even in the snow and had to walk back every evening – uphill both ways (just kidding). But, she always left out the fact that my grandmother divorced my alcoholic grandfather in a time when divorces were not common and were shameful for Catholics. My mom and her 5 siblings did have a hard-knock childhood growing up in the projects in Briar Hill in Youngstown. My Grandmother worked 2 to 3 jobs to provide for the brood of 6 and ruled with an iron fist to keep them in line – which is hard to imagine being that my Grandmother was always a petite woman.

My Grandmother married my Grandfather at 19 and he was 10 years her senior. Shortly thereafter, my Grandmother gave birth to my Mother. My Grandfather was a WII Vet – who had a purple heart – but could not keep a job because of his substance abuse problem. Although it sounds like he was a charmer – he could be a very violent person at times – he stabbed my grandmother and that came very close to ending her life. My Grandmother divorced him and in her early 30s took on the task of raising 6 children on her own. Just recently I learned there was a 7^th child, a little girl that was given up for adoption as an infant. I wish that she could have known the amazing, strong woman that my Grandmother was.

I look at the decision my Grandmother made and it would intimidate most women today – even after the women’s movement. My Aunts and Uncles remember a hard life – but one where they never felt deprived. This weekend my Aunt Pat fondly recalled that they never went without at Christmas and always had new bonnets and patent leather shoes at Easter. She pondered – how did she do it? It is a good question – sounds like my Grandmother was able to work small miracles on a regular basis. I cannot imagine the ridicule that my Grandmother went through being a divorced woman in the mid 50s with 6 kids – while sending most of them to Catholic school.

And it isn’t as if my Grandmother’s life was all hard knocks…in the late sixties she met the man that I’ve always known as my Grandpa – my Grandpa Chuck. They married and moved to Pittsburgh and my Grandmother became a nurse. They traveled to Europe, Mexico and the Bahamas and had a lovely home. My Grandpa Chuck died in 1987 and my Grandmother stayed in Canfield – close to several of her children. Into her 70s, she continued to work and helped my mother run our farm market. I loved the fact I got to see my Grandmother every day in the summer and during the rest of the year, she came over every Sunday for dinner.

Later in life my Grandmother continued to work small miracles…even on a fixed income she managed to give all of her grandchildren gifts at Christmas. My favorite were the chocolate covered cherries she’d buy me every year from Gorants – the local chocolate company in Youngstown. Looking back, I realize how truly amazing it was that she was able to give us all gifts. She was also talented in making crafts – she knitted, cross stitched and was very involved in her miniature club even into her 80s. She was there for all my major rites of passage in life – confirmation, graduation from HS, graduation from college and graduate school. She will be greatly missed at the next stages of my life. I am sad that she won’t be there when I get married or when I have children.

There are a lot of lessons in my Grandmother’s life but I’m not going to name off each one. AND, I’m not saying she was the perfect person – we all have our faults. But she lived one extraordinary ordinary life while up against incredible odds. She worked to have the ordinary things we all take for granted – like gifts at Christmas, vacations and to do simple things in life like golfing. She didn’t have a life partner who supported her and her children – she did it on her own in a time when being a single, divorced mother was looked down upon.

Well, now to my actual run…I did 18 miles on Sunday on the bike trail near my parents’ house. I ran from Green Township to Austintown (past Mahoning Ave) and back – kind of crazy – if you know the area. But, I didn’t have the normal elation that I have on my long runs…I really couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could get back to the nursing home to be with my family. It felt like it was uphill the first 9 miles and uphill the last 9 miles. Plus, it rained and that seemed very fitting for the day.

I cherished being with my family this weekend and listening to their stories about my Grandmother. I’ve asked that they write them down…because I know that most of us Grandchildren don’t know the stories. I am sure that what I’ve shared today is just a small part of her life…but, well…it is a start.

My Grandmother died early this morning while my Aunt Pat was reading poetry to her from a book that my sister gave her. I will miss my Grandmother very much and will think of her often. I am glad that after the last two rough years of her life that she is finally at peace. She had 6 children, 19 Grandchildren and 13 Great Grandchildren. Although she lived an ordinary life, she obtained that ordinary life while enduring extraordinary circumstances and she has had a major impact on my life. I love you Grandma and you will be missed.

I am sorry for those of you who are reading this for running updates…this really isn’t one…but an important life update nonetheless.